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Linda The Canteen Girl
Written by R. Rat / S. Jeffries

I once loved a girl in our canteen
She filleted kippers and looked eighteen

Roland told me she was thick and ugly too
Nothing going for her, but I always knew
I'd love Linda, lovely Linda the canteen girl

I loved the way she mopped the floor
And when it came to helpings I got more
She kept my pick bucket behind the till
For soaking her feet, oh what a thrill
Watching Linda, lovely Linda the canteen girl

She was attracted to me
Because of my physique
Please don't ask me why
She's rather have a gerbil than a big butch guy

Then suddenly, for some strange reason
At the height of the holiday season
Roland whisked her off to Palma Nova
And I realised it was all over
With me and Linda, lovely Linda the canteen girl
I love Linda, lovely Linda the canteen girl

I can't understand it, I always thought we had such a meaningful relationship. Was it something I said, or perhaps she just objected to me being obsessed with pink buckets!

I loved Linda, lovely Linda the canteen girl

She brewed brilliant tea
Now it's Roland who gets it free
And if he clears the table
She whispers in his ear and calls him Clark Gable

Since that day, I must say
For my lunch, I have to pay
I can't touch a kipper in the same old way
I'd rather have a sardine anyday
I loved Linda, lovely Linda the canteen girl

I've got Linda, lovely Linda so hard luck mate!

Lyrics reproduced by kind permission

Linda The Canteen Girl
Taken from "Living Legend - The Album"

Original album vinyl cover

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