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The Rat Is Back

S.W.A.L.K.
Written by R. Rat / S. Brint / L. Mayer / Stock/Aitken/Waterman

Dear Roland, you don't me, but I'm your greatest fan. You're the most important thing in the world to me, and I want to know everything about you. Could you please tell me what your favourite things are?

Being famous, being me
Watching myself on TV
Fortune, fame and sacks of post
Are the things I like the most
Eating chips and caviar
Loved 'cus I'm a superstar
Joseph Tricot, Fiorucci
Commes des Garcons, shoes by Gucci
O yeah, and me Filofax
Never wearing pac-a-macs
Everytime I'm on the box
501s, Samantha Fox
Being asked to trendy do's
Opening nights and private views
Moet Chandon in the bath
Practising me autograph
But the thing I value most
More than diamonds, more than toast
More than cash and all-year tans
Are me number one ratfans

Sealed with a loving kiss
Lovely, yeah!

Picked up in a limousine
To have breakfast with the Queen
Lunch with Sade at the Ritz
Before an interview with Blitz
Then buy a suit at Crolla on the way to choose a Roller
Nip down the Zanzibar with people from the media
Being asked to trendy do's
Opening nights and private views
Moet Chandon in the bath
Practising me autograph
But the thing I value most
More than big cheques in the post
More than posing in Ray-bans
Are me number one ratfans

Sealed with a loving kiss
Beautiful

Dear Roland, sometimes it's hard to remember how grey and empty my life was before you came along. I read all your interviews. I keep your picture next to my bed. O Roland, don't ever get married. PS This letter is sealed with a loving kiss

Being asked to trendy do's
Opening nights, private views
Another bottle of Moet, me autograph
But the thing I like the best
The thing that always stands the test
Surely it's not hard to see
Me favourite thing is me!

Sealed with a loving kiss

Having lots of showbiz friends
Being hip and starting trends
Phone calls from the Beeb to know
If I'll replace the Wogan show
Aaron Spelling begging me
To do a bit in Dynasty
Osh Kosh jeans, shoes by Nike
These are all the things I like

Sealed with a loving kiss
Innit touching, yeah
Sealed with a loving kiss
Oh I'm going to get all emotional now
Sealed with a loving kiss
Anyone got a tissue?

Lyrics reproduced by kind permission

 

 

 

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S.W.A.L.K.
Taken from "Living Legend - The Album"

Original album vinyl cover

 

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